The Cold North
by ChardonnayLaBelle
Summary: When Jon starts to isolate himself more and more Robb get's worried and ends up in conflict with himself over feelings he dosen't want to accept. Story takes place in the beginning of season 1! Please Review, this is my first published story and I need all the constructive criticism I can get! *Everything belongs to Georg RR Martin, blahablah* (OBS: Slash fiction/BoyOnBoy romance!)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**.

_The rain was drizzling outside the the small window of the tower. Jon's eyes followed the movements of the grey clouds, which like concrete blocked the sky from giving sign of any rays of sun whatsoever. _

_He let his gaze wonder about, looking out on the landscape that was all silent and absent of movement or life. The cold of the north had only increased the last couple of months. Not enough for anyone to be able to say that a change was occurring for sure, but enough for the Starks to mutter their mantra while hiding from the cold in their big cloaks. _

_"Winter is coming"._

_On the courtyard beneath the tower two men were making their way to one of the bigger entrances to the main building. Jon followed them with his eyes, identifying them as his brother Robb Stark and his friend Theon Greyjoy. As they hurried to get away from the increasingly heavy rain Jon looked up once again towards that concrete sky, not helping to feel a little bit cold and alone in the old run down tower._

It was warm inside, and Robb went to place himself between Theon and his younger brother Bran with a large bowl of meat stew in front of him. People were quite talkative and there was a joyful murmur in the hall as the lords where warming up from the cold. Theon was occupied with letting everyone who wished to hear know about this girl he had met in a nearby village and how they had gotten it on together in the barn. The few who cared enough to pretend to listen would just nod their heads confirming that they heard what he was saying, even thou none of them believed a word he said.

At the sound of the door opening at the other end of the hall, Robb looked up to find Jon walking in and moving towards the table. With a gesture of the hand he pointed at the opposite side of the table and Jon sat down, bringing a bowl for himself with him. Instantly, theon and Jon would start bickering with each other about this and that, nothing to serious, but enough for all of them to wail their eyes and make a face saying: "Here we go again".

Watching the two going back and forth with whatever they were talking about (Robb stopped listening to the two of them a long time ago) he noticed that something was off with his half-sibling. It was like a veil of... melancholy? He couldn't find the proper word to describe it, and melancholy was probably not it since Jon always had been a little dark and broody. But he was dead sure that something wasn't quite right, so after the dinner was over he would tell Theon to walk ahead while he went in the opposite direction to follow his half brother through the empty corridors. It was very dark outside and if it wasn't for the flickering lights of the hallway lanterns the corridor would be almost to dark for anyone to navigate in.

It was dead quiet, and Robb started to wonder if he should make a sound to let Jon know that he was there and walked after him. But what would he say then? "I'm just walking after you, cause I thought you looked so gloomy"? Robb shook his head at the thought. The general stereotype of men having problem expressing emotions and concerns did not make him an exception. Even though most people saw him as a stable and down to earth personality he really didn't like social awkwardness and found himself feeling misplaced and lost every time he happened to be in such a situation.

As Jon turned around the corner, Robb realized that he might be going to his bedroom. Which, of course, is a legit thing to do after having dinner. Problem was that this was not like Jon at all, since he usually would want to hang out with the rest of them. He would usually not say much, but he would always be there. Robb tried to move as quietly as possible, not to make a sound to loud so he would be caught stalking his half brother, an action he really had now idea how he would explain and justify even to himself.

As he walked in, Jon left the door a little bit open, but just enough for the light to spread itself out on the floor as Jon lit a wax candle in a lantern standing by his bedside table.

Robb carefully moved closer to the small crack between the door and the wall, positioning his eyes so he could get a look at the room on the other side without being seen to easily.

Jon was sitting on his bed, just staring at the wall and moving his lips like he was saying something to himself. He continued to mumble as he walked over to a worn out dresser and fished out a undergarment shirt. With his back turned to Robb who was trying his hardest not to breath to loud he started to slowly remove his clothes, on piece of clothing at the time. As the outergarnments was removed, Robb could se his brothers toned body move underneath the undershirt. Jon's hands moved along his shoulders, like they were trying to ease up tensions in his muscles. After dropping the clothes on the dresser he sat down on the bed with his head bent down, looking almost like the illustration of tiredness as he closed his eyes and breathed out heavily.

The glow from the lantern flickered and made a golden glow play along the surface of his otherwise fair complexion. The ivory skin looked like it was glowing in the soft light of the candle, and his unruly curls had a shining shade of cinnamon in it. The face, the messy hair and his tired face was all bathing in the glowing light, making Jon look almost angelic.

Outside the room Robb started to look around nervously. What if someone saw him? It was hard for him to justify stalking his brother, but it was an entirely different thing to justify peeking on him while he was getting undressed. But for some reason, he just couldn't seem to stop. The shades of copper and cinnamon over Jon was so delicate and warm, it caught his eyes and fixated his attention. It called for his gaze, and he reluctantly obeyed to what he otherwise would considered a very strange behavior.

Jon stroked his hair out of his face, grabbed the hem of his undershirt and slowly started to pull it over his head, revealing a toned back where the muscles moved around under his golden glowing skin as he moved his arms. As he moved his arms up to stretch them out properly, the muscles on his back flexed into full strength and Robb's eyes tried to take it all in.

Once again he asked himself: What am I doing here? This is my brother for crying out loud!

Trying to pull himself together, he closed his eyes for a brief second, breathing deeply to calm his nerves. When he opened his eyes Jon was standing up, fidgeting with the buttons of his pants.

Robb's hands was almost shaking from the reaction of something so forbidden and beautiful. His brothers glowing skin and fit body sent shockwaves through his body to places he would be ashamed to acknowledge in a situation like this.

When Jon's pants dropped to the ground, revealing a pair of ivory cheeks contrasting from the copper colored gloom in the room, Robb shifted position nervously. He could feel the rush of blood to his groin, and how his body was reacting to the pleasure of seeing Jon's naked body revealed in all it's perfection. Even though his body instantly said yes and wanted to see more, Robb felt a strong voice in his head telling him it was wrong. What kind of a sick bastard gets turned on watching his own BROTHER undress?

Robb swallowed hard and looked at Jon as he bent over to fiddle with one of the drawers at the bottom of the dresser. He had to master all of his self control not to let his hand wander down to the regions of his body that was aching for him to satisfy.

Suddenly there was a noise further down the hall. The surprise made Robb's heart jolt and when Jon, who apparently also heard the noise, started to look in direction of the door Robb took to his feet and quickly got out of the corridor.

As quietly as possible he hurried outside and shut the door behind him. It was still raining, and in the darkness you wouldn't be able to see the raindrops if it wasn't for the light coming out of the windows of the house, transforming them into tiny drops of golden liquid, falling to the ground and creating shimmering little ponds of glowing fluid. The cold air in contrast to the coloring of the rain by the golden glow from the house made quite a beautiful little scene.

But Robb who was preoccupied with trying to stabilize his breath couldn't see any of it. He sat down next to the wall and buried his face in his hands. What was wrong with him? He had never before experienced feeling like this.

Or had he?

When Jon started to talk about joining the nightwatch at The Wall hadn't he felt a sting of longing in his heart, watching his beloved brother talking about how much he wanted to leave?

All those times his mother Catelyn would react with disapprovement against Jon, when he would sit next to Robb not wanting to talk or do anything but just be there.

Robb ran his fingers through his damp hair and looked out into the darkness infront of him. The other buildings was barely visible from where he was sitting. All the surroundings seemed to have been swallowed by the same darkness. The times passed on, and he couldn't tell how long he just sat there staring into the night.

Robb closed his eyes and allowed his head to fall back against the cold stone wall behind him.

\- What's wrong with me? He whispered out into the night.

_A soft breeze went through the courtyard, blowing up some of the leaves lying on the ground. The night was silent, and no answer was given to him as he over and over again asked himself that same question._


	2. Chapter 2

Authors note:

The story advances and feelings get mixed up, hope you like it! xx

**Chapter 2.**

_The cold air caressed his haggard face. He stroked the stone walls of the room and looked out of the window on the landscape outside. The clouds were gathering, like a sign of what would come ahead. The cold started to spread through his body, giving him goosebumps and chills running down his back. It was so cold up here, and he couldn't for the life of him remember what he was doing and why he was up here._

_\- Robb?_

_He turned around, and out of the shadows by the wall he emerged from the darkness, like the gods created him in all his ivory glory. Robbs hands trembled as he raised them towards the body of Jon Snow, that body he always yearned after. He got closer, and without even touching him he could feel the heath from his chest glowing against him. _

_Robb lowered his head, and brushed his lips against Jon's collarbone, making a soft whimpering escape his full lips. Even thou he didn't look at him, he could picture his face from within: Those beautiful locks framing his light complexion and luscious full lips moving to form whispers of pleasure while those heavy eyelids with black lashes rested against his glowing cheeks._  
_Robb's lips traveled up against his neck, feeling the heat from his body against his. The erotic tension building up between them was so thick he could cut it with a knife. _

_Instead, he savored the light touches of his lips against the object of all of his fantasies. The feeling of caressing his warm skin and the sound of his breath underneath his touch was intoxicating to him. Like a force of nature pulling him closer, making him want more, the need for Jon's body never seemed to decay. _

_His hands went around his waist and caressed his back. Slowly they explored the surface of that muscular body, moving up to feel the movement from his broad shoulder, then slowly moving down to that one place that his dreams always evolved around... _

With a jolt as if he was struck by lightning Robb woke pup, panting and sweating. His body was aching for the touch, but the feeling of guilt coming over him wouldn't let it happened. He had already done it before, when the wanting and yearning for His body became to much for him to handle. Robb turned over to the side and tried to close his eyes once more, hoping that the night would bring him peace and salvation from the haunting longing that possessed his mind.

–-

Jon tried his hardest to focus on his breakfast, but it was hard when the hour was so early and Theon had decided to be his usual self and not only brag about bravades that he never accomplished, but also when he made his greatest effort in making Jon feel as unwelcome as possible.

\- Theon, I understand that this is amusing to you, but do you really think its appropriate to speak like that with a lady in the room?

Theon jolted at the words and looked up behind him, only to see Sansa smiling against him.

Theon looked down and mumbled some excuse before he left for the door.

\- Thanks for that, Jon said and gave her a grateful look.

Sansa just smiled back at him.

\- No problem, I know that he can be quite the jerk sometimes. Even Robb complains about him.

Jon looked down at his plate as he listened to her.

Robb had been acting so weird against him lately, it felt like he was avoiding him for some reason. Could it be that he finally felt that it wasn't worth his time to be friends with a bastard when he himself was a lord?

No, that couldn't be it. Even thou there were others who thought so, Jon knew that Robb was to kind and good hearted to think like that about others. If he only dared to ask him what was wrong, everything would sort itself out. Problem was, he didn't. Jon had never been the one who would start an awkward conversation, and worse was that neither was Robb.

\- ...It's Al just so exciting, we never have people over from anywhere but the north, and I really would like to know what it's like in King's Landing!

Sansa had something warm and excited about her eyes as she looked at Jon for a response. He just smiled back and said yes.

The doors on the other side of the hall opened, and Robb came in. His face looked haggard, as if he hadn't slept for the whole night. Jon took a sip from his cup, pretending to look at the ring of his cup just to be able to look in his direction. There was something seriously off with him, and Jon couldn't help but to feel that he had to know what it was.

After breakfast Robb went out in the stables to get his horse ready for a ride out in the woods. It had been a long time since he had the chance to go out anywhere by himself just to think, so he was really looking forward to this opportunity to let his mind breath outside the castle walls.

It was something special about being able to escape your problems on a horseback. It really made him feel like he could just sit up and ride away from his worries and for a minute stop existing as a personality, and instead become absorbed in the moment ant cease to be burden by his social context.

The sound of steps behind him made him turn around, just to find Jon Snow standing by the entrance looking at him with those dark brown eyes starring straight at him.

\- Where are you going?

\- Just out for a ride in the woods, Robb answered and turned back to fidgeting with the saddle so Jon couldn't see his face. He could feel his presence as he stood there behind his back, and his eyes looking at his back. Robb wanted to say something, but what? He felt to awkward to act and to awkward not to, so he just stood there and tried to fasten the straps on his saddle. He could hear Jons footsteps again, coming up to stand next to him.

Robb turned his eyes against Jon and looked at him. There was nothing he rather wanted then to get closer to him. Feel his skin underneath his hands, the heat of his toned body against his palm as he explored every inch of him...

Robb snapped out of his daydreaming and finished fastening the straps. Jon was just standing there, looking at him without saying a word. Even thou Robb wanted to stay, maybe not to show him that he wanted to be with him, but at least to show that he didn't want to NOT be with him.

But he couldn't. The awkward feeling was to strong, and if he stayed, he felt it would be weird and Jon would wonder what he was up to. Wasn't he supposed to go horseback riding?

\- Would you mind if I joined?

Robb swallowed hard. "Most important now is not to act like this all of a sudden is a big deal", he thought to himself.

\- Sure, grab a horse and we'll go.

As they rode through the the fields at the outskirts of Winterfell a comfortable silence arose between the two of them. Being on a horseback and just move forward, not saying a word felt so natural. Robb smiled on the inside, glad that the awkward feeling disappeared and was replaced with a feeling of tranquility. And no wonder: the landscape was covered in a thin veil of the last morning dew rising from the ground and turning the landscape into a shimmering sight of exceptional beauty. There was no sign of movement or life, all was still and the only sound there was came from the horses as they made their way through the fields.

Jon looked at Robb. He was riding a little bit behind him, so he didn't have to turn his head to see him in half-way profile. The curly brown hair had a glowing luster about it that made it look almost as if it was liquid when the early sunrays kissed its lengths. Even thou Jon felt a little bit annoyed and almost hurt by the way Robb had been acting lately, he couldn't help but to feel that everything in life was good when he was there with his friend.

Jon couldn't help but to feel sad at the same time. The thought of everything he had here in Winterfell created an inner conflict with himself regarding the future. He had been talking about going to The Wall quite some time now, but never really said that he would for sure. Most people at Winterfell probably didn't think he would go, but after feeling more and more alienated from the rest of them he couldn't help but feel that maybe The Wall was the only place for someone like him.

At the same time he felt like he was leaving the only thing of matter to him: these people was his family. At least they were the closest thing he ever came to having one, even thou Catelyn played her part for him to never feel that way. Always the outcast, but never really alone. In the twilight of belonging where he neither had a place to call his own and neither had reason enough to leave, he was afraid to forever be stuck and never move on.

They had come up on a hill now, where both of their horses stood still, allowing them to behold the beauty that was right in front of them but that none of them really could see.

Jon looked at Robb once more. His high cheekbones and strong jawline created a play with light and shadows over his face as it was faintly lit by the morning sun. The light was so soft it almost gave the world a transparent feeling, as if the light never fully reached them but remained as golden trails in the air around them.

Jon took a deep breath.

\- I think I will be leaving for The Wall after the House of Baratheon has made their visit to Winterfell.

Robb didn't seem to notice him speaking at first, but made a quick nod to show him that he understood. Jon looked at him carefully. There was nothing in his face that would say anything about how I felt about it. Except for the eyes, Jon couldn't put his finger of it, but it was like a small flicker somewhere in there. A moment later it was gone, and Robb cleared his throat and started to look the other way.

Jon could understand him. They grew up together, and heck, they were half-brothers! Who wouldn't feel sad if their brother was to leave and not come back again? He knew that Robb, just like himself, really struggled with handling awkward situations and therefore he understood why his brother and friend didn't say anything.

The silence remained between them, eventually Robb said something about having to go home again, and they both turned their horses back to Winterfell again.

It wasn't just talk. He was actually going through with it.

The thoughts made a screaming rampage in his head, going around in circles and not allowing him to find order amongst them.

"He really plans on going through. What am I to do when he's gone?", Robb thought as he was riding back to Winterfell with Jon by his side. Filled up with the fair of being left behind, all he wanted to do was to fall into his arms and let it all out against his shoulders. Tell him that he didn't want him to go, and that they couldn't be separated.

"But how do I tell him anything without saying to much?", Robb thought to himself as he tried to keep calm on the outside.

The problem was that he really had known that this day was coming, but to afraid of realizing the truth he had ignored it in hopes that it all would go away. Now, it was to late and there really was nothing he could do about it anymore.

Robb was walking up the stairs from the dinner hall, passing by a servant on the way to his chamber. He usually always said hi when he passed by someone, that's how he had been raised and it was something that really stayed with him. But right now, his inner chaos got the best of him, and he hardly noticed anything around him as he walked the familiar corridors to his chamber.

His thoughts lingered around what Jon had said when they went out with the horses that morning. The rest of the day had disappeared in a maze of confused feelings and a devoted attempt to avoid Jon as much as possible. He just couldn't bear to face him with the risk of not being able to hold up the facade he needed to cover up how he really felt.

He closed the door behind him and lit the candle by his dresser and laid down on the bed.

Lying on the side, with his legs pulled pup in front of him he watched the candle light burn in the otherwise darkened room.

Jon paced back and forth in his chamber. What was he supposed to do? He wasn't the one who had been acting all distant and rejecting! The furry started to build up within him. How was he supposed to do anything now when I couldn't even get a reaction out of Robb? For the god's sake, he was supposed to be his brother!

\- Damn it! Jon cursed under his breath as he kicked his bedpost.

Frustrated he sat down on his bed and tied to figure something out. It didn't go very well for him since he had started to drink quite a bit during the dinner to handle his mixed feelings. One part of him was hurt for not getting any proper response, and therefore he felt lonely and isolated. Another part of him was furious at Robb for making him feel neglected when he should be there for him. He was his brother, if anyone should be backing him up and showing him support it should be him!

"But maybe, the fine 'Lord' is too occupied with learning how to rule to even care about his fellow man?", Jon thought angrily to himself as he got up and kept pacing around his chamber.

He had to get an answer. He didn't even care what it would be, just a reaction of any sort would do. Jon quickly put his boots on, and stormed out the door, forgetting that he was only wearing his trousers and undershirt.

He wanted an answer, and Robb was going to give it to him!

Robb winced at the sound of banging against his door. Who was disturbing him at this late hour? To tired to care, and trying to cover up the trails of tears that had dried against his chin, he just stayed on the bed as quiet as he could and hoped that whoever it was would walk away and leave him alone.

The banging appeared again, and Robb quickly rose to his feet. He ran over to the dresser, grabbed a cloth and moist it with water from a bowl and cleaned up his face to hide all traces of his earlier outburst. After taking a deep breath, he opened the door just as a new tirade of banging had begun.

Jon literally fell through the door as Robb opened it, and there was not a second of doubt when Robb laid eyes on him. He was drunk.

The two of them stood there for what felt like forever, starring at eachother. Jon, with what he thought was a challenging look in his eyes, and Robb looking nervous to the edge of freaking out.

Was there anything you came for? Robb asked as they just stood there. If he didn't say anything, the awkward moment would had gone on forever, and he just couldn't handle it.

Jon huffed as he looked Robb in the eyes with a not so friendly glare.

\- Why don't you tell me, or is the 'lord' to busy with something else? Jon's voice did neither sound sarcastic or furious. It was low and filled with a dark feeling of neglect.

Robb just looked at him, and unable to come up with something to say he looked around him as to find an answer.

\- What, you don't want to talk to me so badly you can't even dignify me with an answer? Im your brother for crying out loud, and you won't even show me the slightest bit of response! Am I that insignificant to you?

Jon's voice went from almost shouting to a deep bitterness that Robb couldn't recognize.

Robb still didn't know what to say, and fell silent as he sat down on the bed, avoiding eyecontact with his drunk and angry half sibling.

\- I tell you that I'm going away to The Wall, where I will take a vow to spend my life serving the realm, and you don't even say anything. Not as much as a word expressing any sort of recognition of the fact that our time together will come to an end. Growing up together as brothers, didn't that meen anything to you?

Jon looked at Robb with exasperation in his eyes. Robb remained silent, with his eyes locked against the ground.

Jon breathed heavily as he walked up to Robb, grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.

\- Say something!

But Robb couldn't, the only thing he felt was a never ending hopelessness that was swallowing him from the inside. He couldn't control it anymore, and dry sobs broke out of his chest.

Jon stopped shaking him when he saw Robb's eyes tearing up.

\- I really don't want you to go, Robb whispered as he kept his gaze down, to ashamed to look Jon in the eyes.

Jon was taken by surprise at the reaction, and lost his trail of thought. All the bitterness seemed to fade as he watched Robb pull his knees up and burry his face in his hands trying to keep the tears back. Jon tried to come up with something to say or do, but he never knew what to do in situations like this. It wasn't common for at grown man to cry in front of others, even with family members it was uncommon.

Carefully he placed a hand on his shoulder and stroked it gently.

Robb slowly raised his head. His eyes where glowing from the light of the candle. It was like millions little dancing flickers of light moving around on his iris. His lips were trembling and Jon couldn't help to smile. He hadn't seen his brother like this since they were kids.

Robbs mind was racing. He didn't want him to go, but to afraid of saying everything, he said nothing. But the feeling of Jon's hands on his shoulder was intoxicating. He wanted them everywhere, caressing him all over and pulling him closer. Telling him everything would be fine and that they would be together.

As brothers.

_As lovers._

\- Hey don't cry. Im not leaving today, and we WILL see eachother again.

Jon smiled at him as he touched his cheek with his thumb.

It was like making a hole in an hourglass. Like sand, all the feelings Robb had tried to suppress went out in the open. As he stood up quickly, Jon almost fell over, but he found his balance again and smiled at him until...

**He slammed his lips against Jon's, and prayed to the old Gods and the new that he would never leave, even thou he knew that after this he really would.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Note: Sorry it took so long for this chapter, will try to do updates a little bit more frequently from now on! And I've tried to change the way I'm doing dialogue in this chapter, hope it's not confusing or anything! Thanks for all the reviews, its really great to get response from all of you!**

* * *

**Chapter 3.**

He sat down, his knees tight up against his chest like a child with his eyes closed. Breathing in. Breathing out. The trees around him were all very still, except for a weak flickering amongst the leaves, leaving a tranquility to the set that was not in any way matched with the chaos roaring inside Jon Snows chest.

Everything was upside-down. Nothing made sense anymore.

Who in their right state of mind could feel what he felt? Or do what he did? After Rob aggressively thrusted his body against his and smacked their lips tight he panicked. Like a scared little boy he ran out of the room, out of the building and through the gates of Winterfell. When he reached the woods, panting for air, he finally sat down behind a tree.

He'd never been this scared in his whole life. He was angry, sad, longing and confused. Not only had Rob just done the thing he had been wishing him to do for such a long time now, but he had also taken him off guard. For some reason he just felt so... Confused. Scared.

And when he started to reflect upon the event, somewhat annoyed with the reaction of his body: his manhood was throbbing against his legs. After trying to ignore it he couldn't resist any longer, but slid his hands inside his pants and tugged away until everything around him was a degrading mixture of pleasure, humiliation and confusion.

Maybe humiliation wasn't the right term, but he couldn't think of anything else as he sat there. Cum stains on his clothes and trying his best not to let his mind go wild over the events of the evening.

One part of him felt angry with Rob and wanted to confront him with an violent manner for what he did to him. The feelings he stirred up almost split his head in half!

Another part wanted to go back and just see him. Look at him as he slept in his bed. With a flickering hope that maybe...

No. That was not to happened and he knew it. Rob was probably drunk, and this was a mistake on his behalf and Jon should NOT think that this meant ANYTHING.

How could it? They were brothers.

Rob tried to close his eyes and fall back to sleep. But every time he did, the picture of Jons face as he stumbled towards the door and running into the night reappeared. What was wrong with him? He cursed himself as he lay in his bed. This could ruin everything! How was he supposed to talk to him again? Or even looking at him?

He sighed.

His first reaction had been to run after him, but something inside of him felt like it would break if he had to be rejected even further. It was bad enough as it was, no need to make it worse.

...

Sansa walked alongside her mother and one of the maids out on the courtyard. They were discussing something together, and by the judge of their voices it had to be a matter of importance. For some reason she couldn't seem to pay attention regardless of how many times her mother would look at her with that gaze saying "Im waiting for a response form you"...

The Baratheons were arriving tomorrow. Together with their son, the Eire of the throne. Sansa sighed in bliss. Their parents seemed to be inclined that there was to be a marriage between the two of them. Oh bliss, she thought as she thanked the old gods and the new for the future that was ahead. Just imagine, the handsome Joffrey Baratheon, future king of Westeros, to be her beloved? Hers to cherish and adore. To be his betrothed and carry his children.

Could life play out in a more beautiful way?

She thought not.

...

Rob took another gulp of his beer. He was in the dining hall. He had spent the bigger part of the day trying to find Jon, but without success. He now, just a couple of seconds ago, was told by Theon that the ravenhaired young man had gone out with some of the other men to help out in a nearby village. He was apparently supposed to be gone until the next morning.

Rob couldn't blame him. He knew that they eventually had to see eachother again. If he could run away from it like Jon, he probably would since every part of him was bursting from anxiety. It was like his nerves decided to try out a new dance that involved twisting his chest until it wanted to be separated from the rest of his body. But, as the Eire of Winterfell, there was no choice for him but to stay put and do his duties as the eldest son of Lord Stark.

"So, you wanna go hunting tomorrow with the rest of us?" asked Theon with his mouth full of food. Rob could easily understand why most of the sex that Theon ever would get would come about through the power of money. Someone with that lack of manners could not possibly fill anyone with lust unless it would profit them.

Rob faked a smile. "No thanks, got some things to take care of", and before Theon would get a chance to get with any further questions regard what that would be Rob emptied his beer and left the table.

Not only did he have to wait until the coming day until he would see Jon again, but he would also probably have to spend it with Theon.

What had he done for the gods to be this cruel?

...

As Rob later sat in a meeting with the counselors of Winterfell and his father, the sound of fanfare reached them and they rose from their seats. The Baratheons. They were one day early. In the traditional manner all of the house of Stark gathered on the courtyard and welcomed their guests. Amongst his family he could see Sansa standing with her eyes fixed upon Joffrey as soon as he came through the gates. He had heard about their fathers plans to unite them both and if he was to be honest it seemed like an perfectly good idea. For Winterfell. But with regards of his sisters happiness, he was worried that the blonde heir would make the glow in her eyes fade until she was left with nothing but bitterness and an ungrateful husband.

"You got fat", Robert Baratheon said as he sat down from his horse, walking up to Eddard Stark, the Lord of Winterfell. Eddard gave him a look that seemed to be saying "you should see yourself".

The king smirked and they both laughed as they embraced eachother.

The two of them went of towards the main hall where the guests was to be greeted with a hastily put together meal for their arrival. The bigger feast was still set to be the coming day so for now they would have to settle with some food to fill them up after their long journey.

Rob looked around at the rest of the following. Shorter then everyone else was The Imp, Tyrion Lannister, son of Tywin Lannister. It was no secret that he was as hated by his father as cold was to the crops. The Imp looked around as to judge whether or not he would be able to find something or someone to spend his time and money upon but to no avail. With a shrug of resignation he started speaking to one of the younger riders that came with them and walked away against the stabled to find a suitable stall for his horse.

Rob turned around and started walking towards the main hall to join his father in welcoming their guests. Since the plans regarding marriage between the future king of Westeros and his beloved sister apparently was the focus of the visit he felt that it would look bad if he would be absent from the negotiations. After all, he was the future Lord of Winterfell.

...

Eddard and Robert walked together out of the main hall after the last beer of the evening was finished, with their bellies filled to the brink with food. Robert belly being the fuller one, since it had the volume to host more delicacies then Eddards.

They made their way to the crypt, as to pay their respect for the dead. Cersei, the queen and Robert wife, had watched them leave the hall with a hint of bitterness in her eyes. She knew all to well why they were leaving and where they were going. "Even after her death she haunts me", Cersei thought as she sipped on her wine.

The crypt was dark and filled of shadows cast by the flickering light from the torches sticking out of the cold stone walls. The humidity down there was high and it smelled of dirt and soil. Eddard stopped quietly in his steps as they both fell silent when Roberts gaze caught the silhouette of a burial statue alongside one of the walls. Robert walked up to the statue, portraying a woman with a veil over her head. It had gone old from the humidity, and her arms had been covered in a thin layer of fungus, making her look ghost-like in the dim flickering light.

And to Robert, ghost-like was exactly the words to describe how he felt seeing the stoneface in front of him. Drops of water was escaping from the statues hand that was postured out in front of him. Like a gesture saying come with me. How he wish he could.

He took out a feather of brown and red out of his robes, and placed it in her open palm. Looking up into her face once again, he felt his throat going thick of emotion.

"Did you have to burry her in a place like this?"

Eddard stood silent as Robert spoke to him, not turning around to look in his eyes but with his gaze fixed on the stone woman.

"She should be on a hill somewhere, with the sun and the clouds above her", Robert said with his voice trembling. His eyes had gone blank, not as if he would cry, but as if the emotions was to heavy to ever come out.

"She was my sister, this is where she belongs", Eddard said in what was almost a whisper.

"She belonged with me". The firmness in his voice was impossible to miss, just as the tone of bitterness escaping his mouth with it.

"In my dreams, I kill 'em every night", Robert said as he raised his hand to touch the cold face of the woman.

"It's done your grace, the Targaryens are gone".

Robert's eyes turned dark. With a tone filled of built up hatred he said "not all of them".

...

As they walked out, Robert broke the silence.

"You heard what happened to Jon Arryn I suppose?".

Eddard gave a nod.

"And you know what Im here to ask of you?".

Eddard nodded again.

"I want you to come to Kings Landing to be The Hand of The King".

Eddard stopped in his steps. He opened his mouth as to say something, but remained silent.

Robert looked at him.

"I know that this is not what you want, but you're the only friend I still got that I can put my trust in". Eddard met his gaze and gave a nod. "I understand that".

"So is that a yes?".

Eddard smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Do I have any choice?".

"Not really", Robert answered and put his arm around the shoulder of his friend as they walked back into the main building.

...

As the dawn of the new day arrived, Rob woke up from dreaming as the first rays of light found its way through the locks of his window. Caressing his face, it made him look alkali a statue of divinity as it highlighted his sharp angled features and made his brown hair take on a dark golden glow.

The big celebration was to be held the coming evening, and his father was to make it official that he would go to Kings Landing. He found out about it the night before just as he was of to his chambers. Of course, he should be proud of his father for such an honorable position. But he couldn't shake the feeling of concern as the former Hand of The King had died recently and was like the ones before him not to old when he did. It was a job that gave fame and honor, but also a not very long life. He shook his head as to get rid of the uneasiness of his thoughts and stood up to get dressed for the day. He was to talk to some of the farmers that had arrived from a village nearby about the crops and cattle they were supposed to receive from them. Business as usual, so to say.

...

Jon brushed the hair out of his face as their horses made their way over the highlands of the north. The wind was cold and if it wasn't for the thick black coat of fur around his shoulders he'd probably not be able to keep from chattering his teeth. When he had been asked to join the other men and help out with the rising of a new roof to one of the nearby villages main buildings he had seen it as a perfect chance to get away from Winterfell and find some peace of mind. But as always, one can run to the other side of the lands but not from one's head. The whole night he'd been turning back and forth in the simple bed made out of hay, trying his best not to think about Rob.

What was he to do? His body yearned for Robs touch, his chest filled with unease that seemed to only be solved with the presence of him. But at the same time everything inside of Jon told him that this was wrong. One does not lay with other men, everyone knew that. Jon never thought much about what other people said about him. Being the bastard he was used to harsh words and coldness from the people around him. But to be called out for this?

He looked to his left. Far away he could almost see the white lining that was The Wall. He had dreamt about it ever since he was a kid. There nobody would know who he was, and even if they did they wouldn't care. Many of the men who came there had worse labels upon them then being a bastard.

He knew that if he left, he might never see Winterfell again. He might not ever see Rob again.

Maybe it was for the best?

He started to think about the gods. Jon was not really one to think about such things, but he couldn't help but wonder what the gods would say about this. The new gods with all their rules and commandments. The old ones with their ancient traditions. Would any of them spare his longing? Or would they all condemn him?

Maybe it was for the best. If he left, there would be nothing to regret and no mistakes to be made.

* * *

**End note: I know this chapter was not very focused on the slash pairing, but I promise that there will be more of that for the next one!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4.**

Jon quietly closed the door behind him. He was back home and safe inside his chamber, managing to avoid Rob on his way there. He had seen him come out into the courtyard just as Jon entered the building through the back door, looking around as to find someone who wasn't there.

Jon knew who he was looking for. And frankly, there was nothing else he wanted then to be standing there waiting for him to lay his eyes upon him. But how was he supposed to be able to defend this longing? Even though he knew that every fiber in his body was burning of desire towards his brother he wouldn't give in. He sighed and sat down on his bed.

What am I gonna do? he whispered to himself. It didn't feel as if he had any options. The only right and true thing was to forget about all of this. If he just ignored Rob and avoided to be left alone with him until he was due to leave for The Wall and take The Black then maybe this would all be over.

One part of him really wanted to hate Rob. Everything would be so much easier if he just could resent him for doing this to him. But of course, every time he tried to set his thoughts and heart into that direction, the image of Robs face would appear. Burning underneath his eyelid was every moment since they were children and every word ever spoken. Every touch. That burning kiss.

It was like his body didn't want to forget, while his mind knew that it had to.

"This can never happened", he told himself as he rubbed his tired face with his hands.

Quietly he undressed and changed into a new set of clothes.

Tonight was the big celebration dinner for the royal guests. He already knew he wasn't going. On his way up he'd met Lady Stark. Her eyes had looked upon him as they always did: a feeling of cold emptiness filling them as she spoke.

"It would not be suitable if you were to be there. Im sure you understand".

He understood for sure. She didn't want him there as a living proof of her husbands old misstep and a reminder of the woman he'd been deceiving her with. A part of him could understand her. There was nothing off with the way she felt, heck he would probably feel the same thing if he was her. But the fact that ever since he was a kid and as long as he could remember she had always made sure to point out that he was no son of hers and a bastard. Not that she usually screamed it out (even though that had happened as well) but she always managed to make him feel as being less then his half siblings, and tonight was no exception.

...

"Do you think Joffrey will like me? What if he thinks Im ugly?", Sansa asked her mother as she braided her hair for the big celebration. Her hair had a tone of dark copper and polished messing. The flames from the fireplace gave it a subtle glow making her pale skin look even brighter then usual. Her mother sighed.

"Then he is the stupidest prince that ever lived".

Sansa looked into her mirror. To everyone else, her porcelain face was pretty as a day, but to her in this moment she was filled with doubt about that ever being enough for the young prince.

"He is so handsome... When will we be married, soon, or do we have to wait?".

Her mother sighed once again to the hurried eagerness in her daughters voice.

"Hush now, your father hasn't even said yes!".

"Why would he say no? He'd be the second most powerful man in the kingdoms".

"He'd have to leave home... He'd have to leave me". Catelyn Starks voice felt empty on the final words, and her face had an expression of sadness. She loved her husband. Even though their marriage was set up for her she'd manage to develop a deep affection for the man who'd blessed her with four beautiful children. And one bastard, but she never really thought of that since she still after all these years had problems coming to terms with that fact.

But Sans didn't see any of this, she was to occupied with her own thoughts about the future. Catelyn kept braiding her hair as she kept arguing for why her father would be foolish not to say yes regarding the plans for marriage. She'd be queen one day, what was there to say no to?

Her mother sighed again.

"Please mother, make him say yes. It's the only thing I've ever wanted...".

Catelyn Stark remained quiet. She didn't know what to answer her daughter. If she was going to be honest, the thought of her daughter being shipped of to Kings Landing and living with the young prince frightened her. She was still so young and without experience of how cruel the world could be against a beautiful and naive young girl. And as far as Joffrey was concerned, she was not very sure he would be an easy man to live with.

Oh, if she only knew.

...

Robb was getting dressed for the big celebration. His wardrobe was swung open and standing in front of the mirror he had a hard time deciding on what to go for. He never did care that much about how he looked. Sure, he always tried to look proper, but that was mostly because it was expected of him.

But tonight, it was different. He was different. Spending his day trying to pay attention while doing his duties as the heir of Winterfell and make their royal guests feel welcome he had tried his best not to think about Jon. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep the picture of Jon's face away from his mind. The memory of their kiss was as vivid as it just happened.

He removed his curly hair from his forehead.

"This will never work", he said to himself turning back and forth in front of the mirror, trying on one piece of clothing after the other. It was as if nothing he would try on would fit and if it did he felt like a dressed up fool. He sat down on his bed. Last time he and Jon had been in the same room, it had ended with Jon running away from him. Tonight it would be different. He'd make sure it would be.

If he only could find something that would attract Jon's attention but not make him feel like a fool.

But as Robb walked downstairs into the great hall he couldn't seem to see Jon anywhere. Where was he? Disappointed he sat down next to some of the other men and had a sip from his goblet of wine. He turned to Theon.

"Where's Jon?". Theon looked a slight bit uncomfortable as he looked in the direction of the main table.

"Your mother told him it was best if he wasn't here. Being the bastard and all that might offend the royal family or something".

Robb clenched his jaws. His mother had always made sure to make a difference between Jon and his siblings, making sure that he would never forget he was a bastard.

"Damn you", Robb muttered to himself as he raised the goblet and drank some more of the wine.

Robbs plans had been to not drink to much during the feast, but ass his discontent grew he couldn't seem to help himself from distracting his mind with the comfort that the wine was giving him. It was either that or letting his anger get the best of him, and that was not something that he thought to be proper.

As the dinner went on everyone seemed to be in a good and cheerful mood. The King was dancing and fooling around with a woman at one of the other tables, not missing a single chance to squeeze her tight against himself so her already big bosom would look like it would escape her blouse at any minute.

All of a sudden he heard Sansa shout something. Apparently Arya had amused herself with shooting food over the table using her spoon and hitting bullies on Sansas beautiful dress. His mother gave him a look saying 'deal with her', and though his anger he rose up and took Arya by the hand leading her out of the hall. As he told her not to do that again to his sister (knowing she would do it again either way) he decided not to return to the party but to go and find Jon.

...

Jon was standing outside in the courtyard close to the stables. He had brought his sword to do some practicing this evening against a built up torso that he used to practice his attack skills. As he went berserk against the poor wooden man he heard steps coming up behind him.

"I heard our mother asked you not to attend the feast".

Jon turned around. It was Robb, standing there in one of his more proper clothing with fur details around his shoulders and gold buckles holding it all together, making him look absolutely magnificent. Jon tried not to take in this vision and turned around to keep fighting the wooden torso. Don't think about him, don't think about him, don't think about him...

Repeating this mantra to himself really didn't do any good since the object of his attraction was standing just a couple of feet behind him.

Robb took a step closer, anxious of not getting a response from Jon. Had he done something wrong? Was all the signals he thought he got just in his mind? Maybe Jon really ran out of the room after they kissed because he felt disgusted about what happened.

He struggled to find something to say.

"How was it in the village?".

Jon remained quiet for a little while before he answered.

"Good".

Robb watched as he started to hit harder and more aggressively against the practice figure.

"So... what did you do?".

"Helped them build a new roof".

Robb felt his inside turning colder and colder. What was going on? They'd always been able to talk about everything and now it seemed as if he had ruined it all. He walked up to Jon and put his hand on his shoulder.

Jon flinched, and in a second he had swung around holding his sword in front of him.

"What!?". His voice was filled with both anger, frustration and a little tone of sadness.

Robb didn't know what to do, and stuttered: "What is wrong? Please, just say something". His voice was pleading. Jon looked at him and his heart dropped. He wanted nothing more then to kiss him right there, but he couldn't let himself do it. It was wrong.

"...I try to talk to you, but you won't even look at me, if this is about what happened before we really should talk about it so we...".

"No. No Robb, I don't want to talk". Jon turned around and let the edge of his sword rest against the ground. With his back to Robb he closed his eyes. "Why me?", he asked himself quietly so Robb wouldn't hear him.

"Fine! Then don't!". Robb's voice cracked as he turned around to walk away, the burning sensation from tears of humiliation burning behind his eyes for being so rejected.

Jon just stood there with his eyes closed trying to keep it all inside as he heard his brothers steps moving away from him.

Oh fuck it!

"Wait!", said Jon as he turned around to face his brother. But he was no longer there. The courtyard was empty except for him, and the only sound in the night was the cheering of the people inside.

Fuck.

He turned back to the wooden man and raised his sword. Like a frenzy he attacked it. His sword stabbed every part of the wooden man he could find while the bitter feeling in his chest threatened to swallow him whole.

A while later, when Jon's arms had gone tired of projecting his anger against the wooden man, there was some other footsteps approaching him. Jon turned around quickly thinking it was Robb, but was faced by an older man with shoulder long dark hair.

"Uncle Benjen!", he said in surprise.

"Didn't know you were going to be here", he said as he walked up to his uncle and hugged him.

"Jon, my boy, I see you're practicing", Benjen said nodding against the now slightly splintered torso. Jon smiled weakly and gave a nod.

"Why aren't you at the feast?".

"Lady Stark thought it might offend the royal family seeing the bastard sitting among them".

Benjen nodded with an expression clearly stating his feelings against the acts of Lady Stark.

"Well, you're always welcomed on The Wall", Benjen said and smiled at him.

"So take me with you when you go back!".

"Jon...".

"Father would let me if you ask him! I know he will". Jon looked at his uncle with pleading eyes. Benjen sighed.

"The wall isn't going anywhere...".

"But I'm ready!".

Benjen looked at his nephew. He knew himself that it was not a breeze taking the black, and Jon would never get to become a father or take a woman as his wife. But for some reason he had a feeling that all of that didn't mean anything to him. And if it did, he was old enough to make the decision himself with or without his uncle's blessings.

"You know what, I'll talk to your father and we'll see what we can do", he said and put his arm around Jons shoulder to give him a final hug before he went inside the castle.

"Thank you".

Jon watched Benjen as he walked towards the castle before he turned around to start practicing again. But just as he raised his sword, he was once more interrupted.

"Your uncle is in the nights watch". Jon turned around. There in the shadows of the stable he could see the silhouette of a very short man drinking something out of a small hip-flask.

"What are you doing back there?", Jon asked as the short man slowly walked towards him.

"Preparing for a night with your family", he said and took another sip from the flask. The little man continued: "I've always wanted to see The Wall...".

"You're Tyrion Lannister, the imp, aren't you?", Jon interrupted him.

"...And you are Ned Starks bastard aren't you?", Tyrion Lannister replied.

Jon just shoot him an angry look and turned around again.

"Is something troubling you?", Tyrion continued, not taking much notice over Jon's turned back.

Jon picked up his sword and started practicing again.

"Why would you ask?".

"Well, one usually does not wish to go to The Wall that desperately unless there's something to run away from".

Shit. Jon didn't know what to say. After all, he WAS running away from something, but he'd rather cut of his both arms then tell someone. When he didn't get any answer, Tyrion continued:

"Since you doesn't seem to want to talk about it I'm just gonna go out there with a guess: are you having lady trouble?". Tyrion studied the back of Jon Snow and tried to read out any information he could out of his body language since the young man wasn't very talkative.

"I'm just gonna take that as a 'maybe'. Is this girl someone we know?". He was still not getting any answer from Jon who kept ignoring him. But that was okay, he had been ignored during a big part of his life and was therefore used to gather what he could from the unspoken. He saw that something with Jons posture had changed. It was like a flinch going through his body as he finished his last sentence.

"So she IS someone we know?".

No response.

"...or maybe it's a he?".

Jon turned around quickly, his eyes shooting daggers as they looked at Tyrion with a vicious shine to them. Whatever he had said, he had gone to far. Tyrion looked away.

"Sorry if I have offended you... I'll just leave you to your sword", he said and walked away.

If there was something Tyrion was sure about after observing the young man's behavior it was this: No one would react that strongly unless they had something to hide. Whatever it was he couldn't be sure of, but he had a tingling feeling that his last words had touched a sensitive spot. If there really was 'someone', and this 'someone' was another man, Tyrion couldn't seem to care. Who people chose to spend their time with and what they would do was none of his business. He was pretty sure that neither the old Gods or the new would be very happy about it, but since he had problems of his own he decided not to give it another thought.

Stranger things had happened then a man being with another man.

...

Robb closed the door to his chamber behind him. He locked it carefully and made his way to his bed and fell down. How could this be? He had been so sure that Jon had felt the same way as him. The memory of Jon wiping his tears with his thumb as he'd cried that night when they kissed. His smile as he reassured him that he wasn't going to leave him just yet. The warmth and affection his face had been showing. Maybe it was all just Robbs mind who had seen what he wanted it to see? What if all of that was just Jon showing how much he cared for him as a brother and a friend, nothing else?

Robb started hitting his pillow with his fists as the tears started to burst through his eyes. He never wanted him to go, and now he probably wouldn't ever want to come back! What was he supposed to do without him? He'd never felt like this before, the rejection burning inside of him felt like a hole in his chest.

"Please. Please...". Robb pleaded out in the night. If the old Gods and the new heard him they surely was not letting him know. The only sound was the cheerfulness from the feast downstairs and the weak cry from himself as he covered his face out of shame and neglect.

_He had never felt so alone._

* * *

**Authors end note: Yes, I know, I'm using some of the lines directly from the scenes of the series. The reason for doing so is because I need them to play out for the story to make sense, not because I have a lack of imagination :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

_As he started running, the scenery around him slowly began to change. Snow started to fall from the ceiling of Winterfells great hall. Bit by bit, it looked like as if the walls of the hall was slowly disappearing, turning into a vast landscape of mountains and snow. Robb stopped in his tracks and turned around to look. It was like a desert of snow and ice, where nothing had lived or grown for centuries. Abandoned by mankind. It seemed like time ceased to exist, as if nothing here ever changed and never would. If he closed his eyes, he could hear a distant roaring of the wind. But it was so weak and distant he couldn't decide if he imagined it or if it really was there. _

_Where was he? In this cold and empty 'nothing', were there any presence of any sort at all? _

_Not even the Gods could exist in a place like this._

_The roaring suddenly became stronger, and in the matter of seconds it was over him. A blizzard so intense he couldn't even se his hand in front of him. Stumbling forward to find protection from the storm he fell. As he looked up again, everything had changed. He was in a great hall of some sort. He knew he'd never been here before. The pillars of the vast room was so high he didn't see where it ended and no ceiling was visible. It was all darkness above him. As he looked forward, he saw something._

"_Jon?"._

_Robb started running towards him. But it didn't matter how fast he would run, Jon seemed to stay away at the same distance._

"_Jon!", he cried out between strained breaths. _

"_Jon!". He kept running but, it seemed like Jon was turning his back on him and starting to slowly walk away. _

"_Jon!". Robb screamed out after him as he disappeared into the darkness._

"_JON!"._

Robb wake up with a jolt. Sitting up in his bed with beads of sweat making it's way down his forehead, he gasped for air. The room was dark except for the weak light coming out of the fireplace that had almost burned out by now.

He rubbed his face with his hands, wiping of the moist left by the panic caused sweat. As he turned to his side and closed his eyes, he fell asleep again. Even though no more dreams haunted him that night, he still felt an aching of loneliness as he drifted away once more.

….

Jon sat down next to Theon to eat some breakfast before it was time to join the others for the big hunt. The King had demanded that they all would go, and even though he was a bastard it seemed as if he was expected to join them.

He looked around the room and was surprised that he couldn't see Robb anywhere. Guess he's already up and about, he thought to himself as he talked a bit to Theon while eating his bread.

On the other side of the room he saw The Imp sitting together with his brother, engaged in a conversation that seemed to take up all of their attention. After their encounter the past night Jon hadn't been able to shake a nagging feeling that he knew about him and Robb. Not that he seemed to want to say anything about it, but just thinking about it made Jon's stomach turn inside-out. What if he actually knew something, and even worse, what if he would tell anyone? There would be no proof ofcourse, since they hadn't done anything, he thought to himself.

"But that's not entirely true, is it now?", his mind said to him.

Because something did happened. But that was before the royal family had arrived, so he couldn't possibly know.

But what IF someone saw them, and had told him?

Jon knew that if that was the case, he would be in big trouble. Not only would he be the bastard, but he would also be the bastard who had it going with the heir of Winterfell. A man who seek the company of other men and all that.

Jon sighed and drank from his cup. There was nothing he could do except to wait. If The Imp knew anything, he would probably not tell anyone unless it would benefit him, he reassured himself. Either way he would soon be up on The Wall where no one would bother about his past. No good would come out of thinking about all of this now.

...

Robb sat down with his back against the Gods' Tree. Some of it's red leafs had landed in the pond in front of him, slowly going back and forth depending on the mood of the wind. After a night filled with nothing but bad dreams and no luck in getting any sort of proper sleep he had decided against having breakfast with the others and left the building before the rest of them would gather to go out on the big hunt. He'd told one of the stable boys to let his father know that he would not be joining them. He knew that his absence would seem strange since it was his duty to attend and represent the family. Only problem was that since he couldn't wrap his head around all that was going on with him and Jon his mind was occupied with nothing else. It was like an obsession that only seemed to grow stronger with every attempt to put it out.

Robb picked up a twig from the ground and turned it in his fingers. His mind started to drift away as he carelessly touched the thin bark surrounding the little piece of wood. As he looked up he saw his mother making her way to him through the grounds. Robb sighed.

"I hear that you were not to join the others on the hunt today", Lady stark said as she approached her son. She looked down upon his hair that shined like dark and unpolished brass.

"No, I just needed some time... that's all".

Lady Stark sat down next to her son.

She could se that he was troubled, but he never seemed to open up for anyone really. Except for Jon, which annoyed her immensely. He was not even family and still her son would act as if they were brothers, something that was problematic with him being the heir of Winterfell. And Snow being a bastard from the north beyond The Wall.

"I can se that there is something troubling you".

Robb looked into her eyes and tried to smile. He knew that he would never be able to fake it in front of his mother, but it never stopped him from doing the polite thing of smiling and telling her it was nothing to worry about.

"I'm fine, I promise", Robb said and tried to reassure his mother that she needn't worry about his wellbeing.

Caitlyn looked into his eyes once more. She knew he wasn't telling the truth. She also knew that there was no point in trying to put pressure on him in confiding in her. She placed her head on his shoulder and took his hand up from the ground and placed it in hers, gently stroking it with her thumb.

"Whatever it is, it will all be alright as long as we're all together".

Robb nodded. It was all true, but problem was that very soon they wouldn't all be together.

...

Lady Stark and Robb walked back to the courtyard together talking about the coming days. Apparently, his father had promised to King Robert that he would go to Kingslanding and serve him as The Kings Hand. Robb would not move there with them, but his sister would. He knew Arya would put up a fight about leaving and he could definitely understand why: she was not the princess kind of girl and would loath the place faster then she could say 'Winter is coming'.

On the other hand, it would be a perfect time for her to learn some manners and get used to her future role as the lady of a prominent lord. He had to admit that he was sad for her. This was never anything that she would ever want, but it was what was expected of her and she had no choice but to go with it.

As they came through the gates there was a commotion on the courtyard with people screaming and running.

"What...". Caitlyn stopped in her tracks when she saw Brandon's body lying on the ground. He was all still and there were no signs of movement or life coming from him.

Everything that happened after that was like a blur. Robb and Lady Stark carried Bran's body up to one of the chambers in the company of all the maids and stable boys, shouting out orders to fetch the maester and panicking. Bran was barely breathing and Caitlyn was crying as she prayed to the old Gods and the new for a miracle to happened.

...

Robb sat next to his little brothers bed and held his tiny hand in his own. How could this happened? Little Bran who was so sweet and who would never hurt anybody, what had he done to deserve this?

Caitlyn sat on the other side of the bed, her eyes swollen with tears. She didn't move for a second, except her thumb stroking the back of the little boys hand.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in", Robb said without looking up from his little brother. The door opened and then closed, but no movement to approach them came and when the stranger didn't seem to want to speak he turned around.

"Jon?".

His dark brown eyes was looking at him from underneath the messy dark hair with an expression of pain. Robb rose from his chair and after a quick nod he followed him out the door and closed it behind them.

"I just heard what happened, will he be alright?", Jon asked in a low voice. Robb shrugged and looked down.

"We don't know. The maester says he is badly hurt and only time will tell". Robb's eyes started to tear up and he tried to shake the emotions away and turned around to prevent Jon from seeing his face.

"It's okay".

Robb felt Jon's hands on his shoulders. As the tears started to fall down his face he let his brother embrace him. The feeling of his rough hands and strong arms embracing him finally got the best of him and he turned around and buried his face against his brothers neck, slowly inhaling his scent.

"It will be okay", Jon said as he stroked his brothers hair. Robb sobbed against the fur on Jon's shoulder and shook his head as his body started shaking of suppressed grief.

Jon held him tight and closed his arms around his shaking body, trying his best to stay in control and be strong for the sake of his brother.

"It will be okay. I'm here with you", he said as he raised Robb's face and looked into his swollen eyes. Without a second thought, he moved his face closer to his brother, and as their foreheads laid against each other he tried to remain in control but to no avail. Jon couldn't fight the urge to protect Robb from the world, and he didn't want to. He was his, and nobody would ever get to hurt him.

Slowly, he put his hand behind Robb's head and finally closed the distance between them as he placed his lips upon his and kissed him with all the forbidden emotions running through his body like wildfire.

**_You are mine, and I am yours._**

* * *

Authors note: Yes, this chapter is very short, and yes it's been forever since I posted anything. I'm having a lot at work + my studies at the moment, but promise to try and do better! Hope you all like it and let me know what you think, take care and love Jon/Robb! 3


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